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Clutching my newborn son against my chest,
A Story of Healing Transformation
Butterflies
I
could feel my heart thudding so wildly, I
worried it might wake him. I looked down
at his tiny, perfect face and then up at
my beautiful little girl, still just a toddler
- precious, innocent, trusting. Outside
the train window, the world blurred by as we
travelled toward new, unfamiliar horizons.
Inside me, though, my world had ended.
This was the day my old life reached its painful
crescendo and shattered.
I had convinced myself I was happy for so long
that I even believed it - until Life itself, with all
its infinite wisdom, called my spirit to wake
up. Life listens to the quietest longing in our
hearts. Mine had been whispering for a long
time for a deeper, richer life. And so, the veil I’d
placed over my own eyes dissolved. Suddenly,
I saw it all: the truth, raw and razor-sharp. I
couldn’t know it then, but the heartbreak was
the beginning of my prayers being answered.
With my babies in my arms, I left behind a
destructive relationship. We found ourselves
on the Isle of Wight: me, a newly single mother,
battered and bruised in ways you couldn’t see,
with two tiny souls depending on me.
There were moments darker than I can put into
words - police protection, nights living out of a
suitcase, watching shadows out of the corner
of my eye.
And yet, amidst the chaos, I would feel gentle
nudges - whispers from deep within - to carve
out just a little time to reconnect to myself.
I remembered Tapping (Emotional Freedom
Technique), something I knew worked miracles.
Yet again and again, I dismissed the idea, telling
myself there was no time, that my children
needed every ounce of me.
I’d push it all down. I’d tell myself… “later”.
Meanwhile, the overwhelm would crash over
me like great, merciless waves. Some days, just
staying afloat felt like a triumph.
One evening, I stood over my sleeping babies,
watching their perfect faces in the soft
moonlight - and something inside me cracked
open. I sobbed from a place so deep, I didn’t